Little Xu with Little Sunshine~~

 

today i met you, which reminded me your face again. it has been so long I didnt see you since last time.

I miss you too much to remember how you look like.

I passed the most hard time i feel. even i still dont know how i should take you as my friend.

there is still a strange feeling left in my mind, it comes and goese everyday, repeat and repeat, i hate the feeling, but i cant get rid of it.

i hate myself sometimes the weak one. why you couldnt just give me some support. even a little bit...

haha... actually i dont believe tht you flirt ppl. i still trust you. lame, right?? but i do.

i am the driver , you are the passenger, you get off when u find ur destination... hehe... it was just a short trip.

i still miss you . but i know tht means nothing though.

you heartless boy

stupid!!!!!

 

 

mock exam is comig, OMG!!

haha, jst finish chilling out this week, next week is mock exam.

I havnt do anything. so nervous....

 

ok, i am gonna study now, be ready for my exam...

bless me.

xuxu

Happy chinese new year!!! To every one

all the best in the new year...

 

 

enjoy sunshine here . enjoy my own life.

finally, we are here, we almost missed the boat, so scared. if we missed it, i dont know where we are going and what we could do.

jsut 2 seconds, dont no why, the boat came back, such a lucky person i am, the boat came back, whoever it came back for, anyway, i got on the the boat, and swam to my host family. hahahhahahha,so happy.

change a bit atmosphere ,actually feel good, mabe stay in the college such a long time. my mind a bit numbness, still doing sth at least, but no emotion. such a wired thing.

 

good to change my ambience , get a good mod then.

i will enjoy my weekend without any thing "annoying". i like ....

but, plz miss me ,ok? just a bit......i will be satisfied with this...

 

                                                                   

haha

just now forget to write i am 20 years old now since the day before yesterday follow norwegian time.

I am happy to be 20. maybe not.

it depends.

anyway, i got a really good birthday party, i love my roomates, i love my friends. all of you.

i really like it i will save it in my memory ,^^ good memory.

still a bit diappointed with sth. but happyness is more than unhappyness. so i am happy.

thax anyone.

 

 

                                  

so sad.

just heard about that one of my second year died of diabetics.

I couldnt believe it. he jumped around before, how can he just die suddendly.

i dont wanna imagine more and dont wanna think about anything that connect with this.  such a bad luck.

my friends siad this was normal, whioever would die in the future, even not because of disease, but alos because od old enough. hoever, anway, i dont want to hear anything about this any more. no more.

why thing always come suddenly, and come together. i dont know what is wrong with me?

really, what is wrong wiht you? you never become like this infront of fail. maybe i shouldnt consider it as my failure.

this is just a piece experience , a good experience. i dont know what i really want, that is problem. if you asked me last term, i will answer you directly, because i know what i real;y want. now, i am so confused, what i want??? dont no.

i tried my best to live alone. leave myself a peaceful life, i succeeded before. evil might come back, or evil just inside me all the time.

i didnt try to hide it. just dont know how to face it?

does the truth hurt? are you cold blood or r u just satisfied with this, you succedded? or you feel happy ? or sth else. missing all the time.

maybe i am right, evil didt go away, it is in my mind and deeprooted.

i will save it then.

thax anyway. i dont know why you wanna do this, but i think i can accept it since yesterday. i think i can.

 do whatever you want.

someone said this before that i will never forget, if you hide youself next time, i will not be able to look for you,.

i will be blind, you will disappear in my life.

it is really hurt, but this is what i made, is this what i expect ? is this what i really hope to happen? maybe not.  no answer.

time is flying, i will be free soon....

IB ,you are so annoying now. but i still like you annoying me. ^^

 

OMG,时间过得真快啊

马上就要回家了， 周日就到家咯。wow， so cool.

真兴奋！！！

 

haha

early christmas is coming. everywhere is fulfilled with chistmas atmosphere. feeling so good

time is flying now, just a wink, i almost finished my second year in Norway. dont know hy i feel sad some times.

even i miss home so much, but still dont wanna leave here. then decide to enjoy the rest time as much as possible.

dont wanna have any regret in the future .

i will be back home next weekend. then the shopping time is coming, hehe, my favourate.

really dont know what he is thinking , what she is thinking. seems like i am playing a boring game now. i know what i am for them, but still wanna continue, sometimes, really wanna escape from them. but i cant do it.

have been cheated sometimes, ask myself , really have no answer.   dont dare to do sth, still miss and cherish.

accept whatever they did. not satisfy with the situation, but nothing to do with that.

on the other hand, what mean by good friend. before this case, i pretty understand it . but i got lost now. what is friends to me.

the worst thing is you and your friend love the same person at the same time, same place. such a coincident. why???

do u really wannado this to me???  i didt say i am not happy, but actually i am not happy. i didt say i still like you a lot, but i really like you much more than before...is it true? am i cheated on myself??? is he selfish???

i dont have the answer, this is not math , not chemistry, i cant calculate , i cant measure . only thing i can do is enjoy the time spend with you, be blind when i am not happy. that is all.

anyway,  i will finish everthing, no need to be sad , no need to be disappointed , no need to jealous.

 

preparing to go home, so excited.....stop being caparious....

 

                             

 

 

                    

 

呵呵

好久没有来了，用专业术语就是 ，我来除草了

太忙了，真的，简直就是停不下来啊，每天都有很多事情要做

而且，从英国回来之后，人也懒了，总是什么都不想做，今天托明天=，明天托后天。。。。就这样，攒了一大堆要做的

我才发现自己属于那种不见棺材，不落泪的人。每次要是不到真正要交作业的时候，我才不会做呢，呵呵^^

最近总是有件事情烦我，真的，弄得什么都做不好。。。。总是不能专心的做事情。哎。。。。

好了，有2个多月没有写了，突然叫我写，都不知道些什么，我要好好想想，下次写什么哦！！

 

Remembering me,
Discover and see
All over the world,
She's known as a girl
To those who a free,
The mind shall be key
Forgotten as the past
'Cause history will last

She wants to shine,
Forever in time,
She is so driven, she's always mine
Cleanly and free,
She wants you to be
A part of the future,
A girl like me
There is a sky,
Illuminating us, someone is out there
That we truly trust
There is a rainbow for you and me
A beautiful sunrise eternally

God is a girl
Wherever you are,
Do you believe it, can you recieve it?
God is a girl
Whatever you say,
Do you believe it, can you recieve it?
God is a girl
However you live,
Do you believe it, can you recieve it?
God is a girl
She's only a girl,
Do you believe it, can you recieve it?

new term has stared already!

a little bit disappointed,i don't know why,just feeling

miss cambridge a lot

miss B,miss Cheng,haha,actually there are 2 Cheng there.and another one is Yi,another name for him is xiaopang.

haha,whenever i think about the summer,i always remember them ,so ..........especially some one..Bå

anyway,i have to be my college ,stop thinking about them,yes,start the new term

 

虽然是夏天，可是今天的挪威就像秋天一样......

外面的小雨，偶下偶停的...

露水丛树的顶部滑落到树叶上   一层一层   啪嗒落在 地上

唯一有夏天味道的东西就是满花园的花了

打开窗子    冲进来的都是花香的味道

不知道叫什么   像是紫藤花   已经盘绕在房子的一角

记得冬天来的时候   只在墙角看到它        

主人还在花园里种了好似满天星的东西      围绕在马卷外......

整个山坡上都开满了黄色的小野菊      偶尔间还夹杂着些蒲公英

蒲公英也是一种杂草           但是很喜欢             

挪威没有柳树   所以春天的时候看不到漫天飞舞的柳絮                还好有蒲公英     

 

 

最迟  明天就走了     space可能暂时不能管了         希望能长出蒲公英    

先前说过  不想再写了   因为 不知道这些东西     写给谁？？？

可能是为了enjoy 自己吧              不知道            总感觉是在自己对自己说话

 

琥珀的前奏真的很好听

       走了                         等着我的好消息                   

 

 

      

 

so busy,so busy

so many things to do,just don't wanna move....lazy lalalal ~~

^-^

fighting lalalala

                                                                         

闲下来的时候，好想去听流水声

记得那天大家分手的时候，我和Rachaphum 走到了fjord前，坐在沙滩前的石凳上，真的好想哭。

没想到game 是个这么多愁善感的人，一直以为他是个大大咧咧的男生，典型的泰国男生。

可是，当我们最后拥抱的时候,听他说I want to cry.瞬时间，世界好像都变了。

走之前，我们就这样静静的站在fjord前面，看到海浪一次次的拍打着沙滩，心里惦记着太多的事情，有着太多的顾虑和烦恼。没想到，我们相处只有一年，现在我们好像一个大家庭。一起生活，互相照顾。

走的时候，望着车慢慢开走的那一瞬间，我才明白，他们对于我来说真的很重要。我需要你们。

也不知道我的礼物大家看到了吗？

喜欢吗？

game 告诉我，you don't need make it beautiful,because we know that it is from your heart.

有人问过我，爱情，友情，亲情，哪个最重要？不知道。

送他们走了之后，我又去了fjord前面，想一个人在那里静一静......

想再闻闻海水的味道

有人说，每个音符都是一个精灵，我们都生活在五线谱上，于是，人生中的喜怒哀乐 就组成了一曲乐章。

爱情，就是这曲乐章中最悠扬最美妙的部分。

原来，友情也是最美妙的一部分。

我们就好像畅游在水里的鱼儿一样......浪漫而多彩，闲下来的时候，用心聆听流水的声音...

好像再 听到那句：you still have me around~~

也许是我太容易被感动了吧，好想他啊......

上车之前，大家象征性的拥抱say goodbye.

抱着他的时候，好想对他说：don't go ,don't leave me alone..

可是，终究还是要走的

都好几天没有消息了

就是这样傻

现在只有努力看书，让这两个月过的快一点吧。

wow ,

i am in my host family now......

it was so tired.

just wanna take a shower and then sleep

....still miss my uwc

nobody on line,i think they enjoy teir life so much

hopefully

see you tomorrow

很早的時候。就希望早點離開這裡，可是真正到了要離開的時候，再也不想走了。我也想回家，也想和同學在一起，心裏特別矛飩。不想走，是因爲這裡有我想念的同學。想馬上走，是因爲家裏有媽媽和妹妹。

那天晚上和marcus聊天的時候，他說don't feel lonely,you still have me around,your HK co-year.

讓我覺得，not all the 中國人都走掉了，so不是很孤獨了。because still there is chinese can chat with me.因爲以前和中國人在一起的時間太久了，they突然走了，我實在受不了，媽媽又不在，感覺好像我失去了整個世界。沒有人再陪我聊天，我在uwc好像是個stranger一樣。但是now不這樣覺得了。可是now even him has gone......

昨天又去了yuanyuan and fangfang 的房間，看到屋子裏空蕩蕩的，回想我們6個在一起的時候，滿屋子的笑聲，一起吃pasta 的時候，一起過春節，一起包餃子，太多的一起了...眼淚一下子就流出來了，我知道自己最喜歡哭了，覺得好委屈，好想媽媽，好想回家。

下午的時候，去送同學上車，真的又忍不住哭了出來，他們問我come on,just two months,沒有人了解我當時的想法，看到你們都回家了，我也想。好羡慕。

抱着jariya的時候，真的不想就這樣讓他們走了，可是又能怎樣啊......前天的時候jariya 告訴我if you have some problem ,just tell us,although we can't do anything,but we can listen.you don't need to say thank you ,because this is what a friend should do.我想我永遠都不會忘記他說過的話，雖然不多，但真的讓我覺得我並不孤獨，我還有朋友，還有人願意聼我講話，願意聼我發牢騷。

晚上的時候,送marcus 和game 上車，真的祥和他們說；不要走，留下來陪我，好不好。連我自己都知道不可能啦。大家終究上了車，想對他們說i will miss you可是沒有，我怕自己會哭出來，真的好丟臉啊。太不堅強了。就會哭......

車走了，我的心也冷了，要去面對現實。因爲這是我自己的選擇。要去適應現在的生活。現在沒有marcus 和sijie 在我身邊，雖然我們天天見面，但是我還是有很多話想要對marcus 和sijie說。好想你們。

柳絮；變得堅強些

不要總是哭哭啼啼的，什麽時候柳絮才能長大阿......

miss you！

真希望能馬上見到你們，希望時間過的快一些。

期末 考试结束了，没有挂科哦！

丽娟和亚茹都回国了，留我在这里一个人奋斗。

他们走的那天，我们抱在一起哭，回想这一年，我们一起哭，一起笑，真的很充实。

现在才觉得我真的没有白来，学到了很多东西，说实话，这是我的第一次集体生活，还很不错哦。

呵呵。

可是，时间过的太快了，开始的时候，每天还在数时间，260，250，240....5，4...2，1希望实践能过的快一点，早点回家和大家团聚，可是，眼看着还有几天就要放假的时候，却又不能回家了，心里有种失落，虽然这是我自己的决定，但是我现在开始后悔了。

那天，他问我：你就那么舍得阿？

突然我问自己，为什么做这个决定，哦，原来.......

haha,不论如何，我说过了，我就必须去做，

不过很想妈妈，很想爷爷，还有豆豆，大家都瞒着我，好像没有发生什么似的，可是他们不知道我什么都知道了。担心 豆豆，我的好妹妹。每次在家的时候，我们就是吵架，不停的吵，就在我到了挪威的第二天，我就发誓，我再也不吵了，再也不了。现在想吵都没有机会了。所以，我发誓，无论将来发生什么，我都要照顾妈妈，爷爷还有豆豆。和他们在一起，一定要在一起。

那时候，每次给家里打电话，都要拿着电话哭上1个小时，一听到妈妈的声音，根本就不能说话，妈妈就陪着我一起哭，豆豆根本不肯接我电话，就知道在妈妈旁边流泪，死也不肯接电话。

高中毕业后，大家各奔东西了，偶尔会在网上看到好朋友，“没想到，大家就这样分手了，你是咱们班走的最远的一个了，一定要好好照顾自己，绝对不能让我们失望哦“，“记得一定要好好学习，将来我们还靠你了呢“，虽然我知道不是真的，但是却给了很大的勇气。让我感觉的，我这么做，是值得的。是你们让我留下来的。

谢谢你们！

现在一年已经过去了，什么都适应了。我也不是当初那个笨女孩了，一切都变了。大家都在长大。

暑假虽然不能回家，但我相信那是一次很好的锻炼。

anyway,寒假还是可以回家的嘛，时间努会过的很快的，从现在算起，还有195天，就又可以见到妈妈了。哈哈。

为自己加油，打气~~~

 

 

 

 

 

 

another May 20.

It is a really impressive day for me.Even though I have tried to forget it totally.

 Actually I have  a present for YOU,

but no address,no telephone number.no anything .

Such a pity.

Anyway,I can say :happy Birthday TO you.

Hope you can get a greatful day for this special Time.

Praying quietly. for you.....

人生有很多个第一次

前天是第一次有人对我说 I LOVE YOU.

今天是我第一次正式的REFUSE 一个人。

心里一点都不开心，倒是有点难过。

前天的时候，他对我说了那句我很想听到的话，没有兴奋，甚至还有点失落，为什么这句话不是HE 对我说的呢。只是觉得自己一点都不优秀，为什么还能有人会喜欢我呢？尤其是ME脾气这么差，还这么凶......

昨天，他来找我要答复。当时觉得，拒绝别人，怎么说的出口呢？

我没有勇气当面告他，选择了E-MAIL的方式。

发出去不久，就收到了回信。

回信很长，说了他所有的感受。读的时候，有点难过。觉得自己很残忍。

因为对于感情这种东西，我比较敏感。从开始感觉我们之间的友谊开始变质的时候，我就有意回避他。

我也终于理解HE的感受了，如果不喜欢，就算在一起，也不可能是永远的。

我拒绝的原因只有一个：我根本不喜欢他。

 

 

但是现在感觉很轻松，没有任何负担。只是我们再见面的时候感觉怪怪的。好像很尴尬，不知道要说什么，每次只是简单的打个招呼而已。。。。

高中的那件事情，已经是好久以前的事情了，本来不想再提了，因为虽然会痊愈，但是却留给我永远的伤疤，走到哪里，带到哪里。

现在无论是我喜欢的，还是喜欢我的，我都会拿他和HE比，不自觉地比较。总觉得HE是最完美De。

同学说，有阴影了吧？我笑笑......

现，我们由电话改成了上网，话题还是那样，单纯而美好...

现在唯一一件后悔的事情，当时太任性，为了让自己忘记他，把所有关于他的日记都烧掉了。

好后悔....仅有的就是那封没有勇气送出去的信还有我的回忆了......

 

我本来是个很凶的人，可是每次一到了他面前，就变得好懦弱，连反驳的勇气都没有...

以前是，现在也是...

 

鉴于暑假的到来,要回家咯,我们觉得有必要练习一下各自的中文哦,我们几个开始说好了成语比赛.我看几乎全是

"小燕子"的水平,搞笑死了....

呵呵,今天比较经典的就是这句了:

A:  B 你能帮我拿杯水吗?

B:  不能.

A:  你就做回好人吧.这是给你一次助人为乐的表现机会哦.

B:  我才不要,什么助人为乐,这叫"助纣为虐"

一片狂笑.

^_^,高,实在是高............

呀,后天就是first year exam了,这些天一直都紧张的复习.

虽说自己每天都在图书馆里泡着,可是还是会荒废时间来聊天,上网...........完了,这下完了...

好在,我是中国人嘛,中国人就是聪明,没办法啊~~

前两天做了一个presentation,i used powerpoint,座位上都是挪威人,我说英语,老师在旁边翻译做的时候,真的很紧张,是关于我得成长记录的,^_^

从6个月时候的照片,一直倒现在的,回忆了一下我得成长路线哦,觉得自己不是一般的幸福.好想妈妈啊~~想回家了....

刚才在网上看到他了,而且还弄清了一个事实,虽然没有什么意义了,但是自己还是很想知道.....

好了,好好学习,甜甜向上,一想倒烦人的物理,还有那....的化学就郁闷啊~~~一定要的7分哦^_^

A ZA A ZA FIGHTING!

昨天,别人告诉说,去看一篇故事......

我打开网站

把整个故事读完了

这是网址http://best.mop.com/static/70/all.html

如果有时间的话,你们也去读一读吧

读完了这个故事我才觉得老天有多戏弄人生.......

想哭,也想笑,可能是喜极而泣吧~~~

为他们最后能在一起而喜

因他们3年来所走的路而悲

知道了这个故事,突然对很多事情都能理解了

原来成长的过程是如此艰辛~~

一个字:服

这要说人有钱,就是强!

你说这么贵的托付考试,一次还不够,非要考个两,三次他心里才高兴呢~~~

说什么,第一次考着玩,那叫"热身",多考几次,锻炼锻炼,靠,服了......

有他多考几次的钱,中国能多建多少个希望小学呀~~~

没制.........